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PegLeg

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PegLeg last won the day on August 11

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  1. PegLeg

    To the Victor Go the Spoils... and Bragging Rights and Pizza

    At this point, I'm just hoping to keep up!
  2. PegLeg

    To the Victor Go the Spoils... and Bragging Rights and Pizza

    HA! Nope, 40 isn't old. I just like giving my friends a hard time about getting old if they are older than me... or if they require 20 minutes of loosening up before a race....
  3. Years ago on Loopville, someone (I think it was Corc) posted a link to an article written by Lauren Fleshman. It was about the difference between male and female runners/athletes and accepting that difference. I thought of that article again this weekend. Read it here! https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a20793927/i-run-like-a-girl/ It's not just insightful and interesting, it's hilarious. Seriously. Stop reading my bloop right now and go read it and then come back (or not). And I remembered that article and looked it up because I ran my worst 5k in four years, and instead of pacing my RB- who is male and who was running his first 5k- as planned, I got paced by him. And vastly outrun. HIS FIRST. But it was still a great evening, for so many reasons. As much as I prefer morning races, I also work almost every Saturday from 8:30-1, so I miss out on most local 5ks/10ks. The Chase is a small, local 5k that benefits the XC program of a local school and draws out most of the runners here in little Harborcreek. And it's on a Friday night. I love this race because there are so many people I know who show up to run it, either local runners I’m already connected to or customers at the bank here in town where I work. Every 10 feet I was stopping and talking to people… Rod, Jim, Karen, another Karen, Desiree, Dan from Erie and his best friend also named Dan, from Buffalo, Bill who I see at the bank, the RDs husband who is also a bank customer, Juliann, Christina, Tom, Andrew… seriously, I know half the field here! And my baby girl was running it, too! Unlike last summer, when Jules and I trained 2-3 times a week, training for her kinda fell by the wayside this season. Mostly because I was not feeling running all that much, thus it was hard to translate joy for it to my kiddo. And also because she was playing soccer all season and doing quite a bit running even though it wasn’t specific run-training. About 5 days before the race, she decided that, yes, she wants to run it! We did two 2 mile runs in which she ran between 10:00 and 10:30 pace and I figured hey, if she can run 2 miles she can run 3, right? My RB C. -remember him from that 10k RR early this year- was also running the 5k, his first. Now, C. has been busy with work and coaching our church softball team (which my husband is on) and being a single parent and hasn’t been able to run much. Like, once or twice a week. I haven’t been running much but I’ve been running a little more than that. And I ran a marathon just—oh crap, that was 2 months ago already? Okay, forget all the training benefits of that. Anyway, I’ve been running more than him. I should be faster. So I’ll pace him, right? That takes the pressure off me to have to race it, and it’ll be more fun pacing anyway. RIGHT???!! It’ll be more fun, she says. 🤣 Jules was raring to go 45 minutes before the race and completely confident of her ability to run this whole race without stopping. Despite having run very little lately (besides soccer), thus being the least 5k-trained of the three of us. Man, I need that kind of untroubled audacity. Hakuna matata all the way. Meanwhile, C. is old- almost 40- which means he needs to stretch. Now, there’s stretching. You know, normal, light, easy stretching...... And then there’s like, 'oh, wait, I have to do a 20 minute yoga session before I run' stretching. WHUT? oooookay. I made fun of him, which the karma gods duly noted. Pre-race pics for Jules and I when all the stretching was FINALLY done. We lined up to start. I’m completely out of sight in the start photo, but C. is there. Jules is out of sight beside me instead of lining up with all the kids. There were a LOT of kids there, which is always a great thing to see. This race is not a fast course. The first mile is uphill. The second mile is mostly flat but includes a bunch of wooded trail. The third mile is a mix of said trail plus about .5 mile of downhill pavement back to the finish. It’s easy to blow up climbing in the first mile and ruin everything, but it’s nice to have that downhill finish to redeem yourself a smidge, if redemption is something you need (spoiler alert: I did). We hadn’t even gotten close to the top of the hill, maybe .75 mile in before I realized two things. 1) I felt like crap. Not just normal 5k pain crap, but absolute crap from head to toe. My stomach was roiling, my legs felt dead and heavy and my breathing was ragged. 2) C. was pulling away from me, trotting easily as if he ran 5ks every day instead of this being his first one, his bright yellow shirt like a beacon ahead of me. WTH????!! Somewhere in mile 2, I realized that I was struggling to stay under 8:00 minute pace. WHAT? This is absurd. I have run how many 5ks now, and much faster than this, and I feel like I'm being strangled? About the time I realized that my race was going to be awful, C. started yelling encouragement. Which helped a lot... I was grateful, because I was falling apart in the worst way. But the pacer had become the pacee. Beginner pacing coach. Again. WHUT? 😧 And for the rest of the race, C. was ahead of me and pulling away, holding back while yelling at me to stay with him. Which I could not do. Once I considered stopping to puke because I felt like doing so almost the entire race, but that would take like, a good half minute off my time, soooo… I basically huffed and puffed and agonized my way to the finish. When we got to the final .2, C. started putting on the gas. I tried my best to kick into my usual high-gear finish, but nope. I yelled at him to go. Go, go, go! He sprinted toward the clock, coming in at 23:10. And I finished 10 seconds later, feeling and looking like death, and all I could think was “He could have run a 22:30, easily!” I dry-heaved along the side for a little until my stomach eased up on the queasiness. C. came over to lend support and I demanded of him why he didn’t just go and LEAVE my sorry ass?! He kept saying, no, no, no, that’s not what this race was about, he’s fine with it. Okay, well, your coach demands that in the future, you will run a 5k all out to see what you can do. Oh, and you are faster than me now, congrats! A part of me was like, wow, that was fast... going from a non-runner to this in what, 6-7 months? But I was and am so proud that none of it mattered an iota. Well, besides the iota that it took to admit that he's faster than me now. Which was maybe a little more than an iota... So okay, it mattered a little that he was faster than me but he worked for and deserves it and I am proud as punch. I still don't know what went wrong. Not having trained for a 5k (all marathon training stuff this past winter and spring)? Worked and was on my feet all day (a night race versus a morning race)? Heat and humidity? Or just woefully out of shape physically and mentally? Idk. Whatever it was, it's a time I'm happy to put behind me. My slowest 5k since early 2014 when I was coming back from injury, a minute slower than last year on this course, and nearly 2 minutes slower than my PR. But hey… I ran it. It sucked but I did it. JULES!!! What drove my own race out of my mind was the thought of my little girl out there running. I hurried back up the course to find her. The whole time I was worrying... she hadn't trained for this, and without me there to encourage her and run with her, would she fall apart and walk (she'd wanted to not walk at ALL!) and then cry and be heartbroken and beat up on herself? Because she tends to beat up on herself when she doesn't do well, we have no idea where the heck she inherited THAT mysterious trait. Or the crying....... Before I even got as far back on the course as I expected or wanted to, less than 2 tenths of a mile, here comes Juliet, charging along with her face red with determination, her stride still strong and beautiful. My heart got all the fuzzy feelings, seeing my little offspring running like a champ. She spied me and broke out in a huge grin, shouting at me, ‘MOM! MOM! I DIDN’T STOP ONCE AND I PASSED 8 PEOPLE!!!” I had told her beforehand to pick people off, and she told me she wants to see how many people she can pass. Ah, she’s a fierce little thing! I started running with her, slightly ahead, encouraging her. I told her we’re gonna kick it to the end, so I led out in front of her. She gave it a massive kick at the end, and we did the final .1 mile at an 8:14 pace. I let her go through the chute by herself, and she was flying! Final time: 31:18. 10:04 pace. And a 10-second PR over last year on this course, which I did not expect given so little training! Juliet was so excited and I was so proud. Her 3rd 5k… and she wants to do more this fall. I have a flat, fast October 5k all lined up for her. She wants to break 30 minutes, which I think is entirely possible with a little training and on a faster course. The first thing Jules wanted to do was eat! What the heck?! My stomach was still revolting, and she’s sitting there inhaling 2 pieces of pizza and a donut with sprinkles. Though I normally love this race for the pizza and watermelon, I could not stomach it today. No food for me. The sting from a bad race was quickly assuaged by getting my 3rd place OA female (despite the sucky time) medal and Jules missed an AG win by just one place, since she got lumped into the 10-and-under group... but she was so thrilled with her time and having run the whole race by herself without stopping that she didn't mind. And C!! Seeing him get his 2ND in AG medal—his first award, in his FIRST 5K was amazing. Even though I know full well that he could have finished with a faster time, I am incredibly proud of how far he's come as a runner. And he was a true friend, helping me get through a tough race when he DIDN'T HAVE TO AT ALL. We gotta get pics, of course. Then C. and I took Jules back home to get put to bed by my DH, along with the other kiddo. Then we swung by Karen’s house for an hour or two of chitchat, snacks, and drinks at her annual post-race party. Since I had to work the next morning (BOOOOO) we didn’t stay around too long, but it’s always wonderful to catch up with everyone. Even if the race itself was pretty much a bust, good friends can make up for it. As for being soundly beaten by my protégé, hey, if a pro like Lauren Fleshman can see the beauty in getting beaten by boys, so can a mortal like myself? Plus, I'm a long-distance runner and C. is better at shorter distances and we have that half-marathon coming up... 🤨
  4. There was just so much to love about Buffalo… except the 26.2 miles themselves. The city is small enough to be welcoming, big enough to be an adventure. Packet pickup and expo was organized, there were plenty of porta-potties, the marathon jacket was sweet, the medal was big enough to eat a small entrée off it, the spectators were fabulous with their garden hoses, buckets of ice and orange slices. And the course was pleasantly diverse without being too challenging. But Memorial Day weekend, 2018, was the first scorcher of the year, coming on the heels of the coldest, snowiest winter on record and a chilly spring that ended, well, the week before Memorial Day. Erie had just come within an inch of the most snowfall in any city in any one winter (with Buffalo, ironically, still holding the record), and I had trained through that winter. The Sunday before the marathon, I'd run in tights and a long-sleeve shirt. The morning of the marathon, I got up to 85% humidity and temps that were already nearing 70* at 5:00am. My body was even more ill-adjusted to the climate than my mind. The first 10 miles were not bad. I stayed on a nice 7:55-8:10 pace. The sun was behind a partial cloud cover and there were some miles along the river where the cooling breezes helped offset the humidity. But then the clouds passed and the sun came out it in full force. Temps rose to 80 and more, the air was shimmering with the humid haze, and my heart rate was escalating at an alarming rate. By mile 14 my legs were heavy and my breathing ragged. By 15, I contemplated quitting and by 16, I was experiencing cramping and what seemed to be mild heat exhaustion. The last 10 miles were a death march of walk/running. Yes, I said 10 miles. I discovered that none of my training runs quite prepared for the grim reality of 10 MORE MILES when you have run 16 and feel like utter poop. Like so. Aaaaand glaring at the sadistic photographer who dared to ask me to smile.... Around the Mile 20 water stop, I pulled off to the side and started taking my bib off. A lady from the stop asked me, sympathetically, if I was calling it quits. I started saying I was, then stopped. What I wanted to say was “Yeah, I’m done. I trained through a brutal winter and through some crazy work schedules between my husband and I and through some personal life/identity crisis upheavals that felt like my world turning upside-down and through a period of life and training burnout and I trained my butt off for a BQ and I've been trying for 5 freaking years but you know, here I am sweating like a pig and dehydrating and cramping and looking at finishing with my slowest time ever, and I am so, so tired of marathon training and I am in excruciating pain right now and I sure as heck don’t want to run 6 more miles. So you know what? I'M DONE. I'M DONE WITH ALL OF THIS!!" But I didn't and suddenly decided I HADN'T done all the above to just end here in another DNF. I fought back tears that suddenly threatened to break loose and said quietly, “No, ma’am, I’m just taking a moment.” I scooped another handful of ice into my sport bra (absolutely a lifesaver on a hot day) grabbed an orange slice, and trudged on. 6 of the longest and most painful miles I’ve ever run later, I crossed the finish line, a whole lot broken and a little out of sorts, but you know what? I didn’t quit on a day when everything was against me so there is that. Wait. The was ONE Balm in Gilead. Mile 24. Oh, man, I'll never forget Mile 24. When a group of 6-8 college-aged boys were hollering from the sidelines that they have a cooler full of beer. Everyone in front of me was plodding past them, peering at them dully from beneath their heat-blasted eyelids, thinking only of finishing and getting out of this hell on earth. I decided my marathon was in the crapper anyway and at that moment, a cold beer sounded like the answer to all my current problems (don’t all cold beers seem to promise that?). I swung over and held out my hand in answer to raucous cheers and appreciative applause. A shirtless, tanned kid 10 years my junior shoved an ice-cold LaBlatt Blue in my hands, dramatically cracking it open first. I raised it to my lips as 4 or 5 more boys, equally shirtless, fit, and tanned, circled me and started chanting “chug, chug, chug, chug….” I met the eyes of one over the top of the can and blushed a little as he winked mischievously and shouted, “a girl who likes beer, let’s get her number!” Making it to about halfway through the can until my stomach said “UH, WE GOOD”, I handed back the beer with my brightest smile and profuse thanks. The boys screamed and cheered me on as I trotted back down the street, fist-bumping a few pleased spectators who got a chuckle out of the whole thing. Now THAT was the highlight of the Buffalo Marathon. It didn’t salvage my time (a personal worst by 14 minutes at 4:10) whatsoever, but it numbed the pain and gave me just enough sugar and adrenaline to make it through. A tiny smile? I was just so darn relieved that the ordeal was OVER. And there's the marathon version of Kayla Maroney face.... Unlike a lot of other bad races that fueled my desire for more, Buffalo seemed to have broken me a little. I came home quietly, not wanting to talk about it much, not wanting to relive it, and till now, not wanting to blog about it. Granted, there were factors beyond just running that had affected the whole training cycle and race, and it was a lesson for me to remember that when life is throwing you some curve balls, maybe you gotta readjust your goals. I think I stayed broken for awhile. Recovery was slow and agonizing. I didn’t feel like my legs came back to me for about a month, the damage done by 10 miles on cramping legs taking its sweet time to heal. And mentally, it was much more so. I’ve never experienced such a complete loss of motivation and sometimes, a downright distaste for running. If I was going on an easy run with a friend, I was fine. But any solo runs, any speedwork, any long runs. They all seemed like misery, drudgery, pain. In not-running news, my husband's younger sister got married during the marathon recovery downtime. I got to be dolled up and be a bridesmaid. It was a fun wedding, one of the highlights of summer. At this perfect venue... an old restored barn... Juliet was flower girl... And provided me with quite possibly my favorite father/daughter picture ever (that's my husband with Jules on the dance floor)... Back to running. I’m not running Erie, because I didn’t train for it. Thus, BOS2019 is not a possibility. I will register, with the same quiet resignation of probably at least 5,000 other runners who qualified but will not have enough cushion to actually get in. A minute and 50 seconds. Back when I first started dreaming Boston, that would have gotten me in. I try not to think about that. Of course, there's that tiny little sliver of hope that maybe this year is a fluke, the margin won't be several minutes, but I try to brace myself for the rejection email I already know I'm getting. Maybe I'm okay with that. Maybe I'm not. I’m not sure how to proceed. I've never felt so conflicted about my relationship with running. I either was running and loved it or I was injured and aching to run again. What is this weird stuff I'm feeling... this apathy. It scares me. Regardless, I’m starting training once again, with my eyes set on possibly running Harrisburg in 15 weeks. Wineglass is in late September, but I will be running that at an easy pace just for fun. You know what I want, for a change? I want to run a marathon with no pressure, no expectations. I want to run 26.2 miles and actually enjoy it regardless of the time and pace. I want to experience it. I want to RUN IT, not race it. So I’m going to. Because it’s just running and I can do what I want with running. Sometimes I’m almost weary of the Boston dream. It’s been 6 years. I’ve been way off, and I’ve actually qualified with a so-close but not close enough, and everything inbetween. DNSs, DNFs. Each close call and way off call and not-even-gotten-there has its own lessons but it's also natural that each attempt drives the dagger in just a little deeper. The one that asks “Am I good enough? Why do I keep falling short? Do I want it enough? How does it seem so easy and attainable for some and so difficult for me? What is wrong with me? “ And I know those are the wrong questions, but they still press down on me. Especially when I am tired. Tired of running, tired of training, tired of failing. I have a 5k this weekend, on Friday night. I’m pacing my RB Clark, and hoping not to get beat by his naturally fast-twitch sprinting ability. My sweet daughter Juliet is running it ALL BY HERSELF. She hasn’t been training a lot but she has played soccer this summer, so we’ll see what happens. Her only request was that she be allowed to run it alone. I did ask- and was granted- to run the homestretch with her, the final .30 or so of the downhill finish. All the local running folks will be there, so there is lots of camaraderie and fun. There is pizza and watermelon at the finish and my friend Karen hosts a post-race party/bonfire in her backyard for her running friends afterward. Then I have a half marathon in September, again one that I’m pacing Clark for- his first half (I’m the stamina queen, so I have no intention of being bested there). I keep hoping that pacing with no pressure, while surrounding myself with fellow runners, will bring back the hunger and the love. If not, I might ditch marathon training in 2019 and train for an Ironman instead. Yep, you heard me. Stay tuned.
  5. PegLeg

    'I Aint Scared'- The 3 x 1 Mile

    Mile repeats. I remember the first time I did the workout-- 3 x 1- and decided they are in the most cruel and unusual sweet spot between the hard, fast intensity of short workouts and controlled, eternal, grueling challenge of long workouts. I still decide that after every mile repeats session. ‘Imma gonna make you hurt’, I told him via text. ‘I ain’t scared’, he texted back. Though he admitted later to some apprehension leading up to it, and I admitted also to not being sure how to pace him. Which means we led into the first interval way too fast. I tend to do that. When we were still almost sub-6 at the end of the first lap, I held back. But Clark was coming off a two day reprieve from running (the days he had his kids, plus work, etc), so his legs were fresh. I had done 12 on Monday, easy 5 on Tuesday and another easy 6 on Wednesday. I had miles, but not hard miles and the legs were pretty okay with dancing to the tune of 6:xx instead of 8s, 9s, and 10s. Interval 1: 6:45. Uhhh. My tentative goal had been 7:10. Well, readjust for sure! However, I told Clark we would dial it back for the second interval. AND we were doing the full 800m, 2 lap recoveries at a very leisurely 11-14 minute pace of alternating walking with jogging, conversational and relaxed. It was a beautiful night on the local high school track, deserted except for the two of us. Windy, for sure, but the wind was the warmest we’ve had in awhile. At 65 degrees, I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts and I felt freshly-freed from the mother of all winters, having been in tights and long sleeves since November. During our workout, the sun sank into oblivion and darkness closed around us like a comforting blanket. The clouds shrank back onto the horizon and a clear sky sprinkled with stars hung over us. During the recovery, our breaths and heart rates returned to a near normal state as we enjoyed the lull, the shared company, the fellowship of running. I sighed contentedly, my face raised to the sky. I love the night… I love the dark, serene tranquility of a world hypnotized into silence by twilight’s come-hither glance. And I love the wind in my face. More so during the recovery jogs than when I am heading into the wall of wind on the backstretch of Lap 3, but still… it was a good night to be alive. My legs felt responsive and bouncy, my body alert, taut, humming with the rushing blood of intense effort. I love running. I love life. And then my zest for life and running got slightly dampened as we headed into the second mile (Well, my 3rd. I had gone to the track early and done over two miles of warmup and one interval at 6:36 before Clark had arrived because, well… marathon training. I need the miles and the longer workouts.). I dialed it back a little for this one, knowing that if we blew up completely on the first two, the last one would be especially painful. And I’d promised Clark I wouldn’t kill him. Not that he was scared, of course... Still, 6:59. Whoaaaa. To say I was surprised and pleased was an understatement. Yes, Clark was hurting a little on the final lap. But he held it, kept up and didn’t lag or complain. This dude is no slacker. We took our time on the recovery for this one. Then it was back to the final round. The last one tends to be the easiest, IF you have enough left. But still, you can offer freely what’s left in the tank and knowing it’s your last is mentally a relief. Obviously tonight that was the case. Clark was breathing raggedly by the second lap, but he was holding his own. I held steady for the 3rd lap, then pushed it on the last and final lap. We thundered into the final stretch, legs and lungs burning… 6:34!! Sure, we were bent over gasping with our hands on our knees for a few seconds before weakly high-fiving, but dang. That was a quality speed workout. And exceeding my expectations… I’d run 4 x 1 mile intervals at an average of 6:43 pace, and Clark ran 3 x 1 at an average of 6:45 pace. I was pretty proud. For a first time mile-repeat runner, and someone who’s only been training for a few months, a 3 x 1 at sub-7 is SOLID. His strength is definitely the short-to-medium distances… he is already at my paces for intervals. But I am the endurance girl; I can go all day (and night), baby! We dropped to a bench near the track for a few minutes, letting our shredded muscles catch up a little, soaking in the solitude and beauty of a spring night. Then we parted ways, and it was good, because we were now faster and stronger than when we’d arrived. It’s Monster Month. I’m a little tired and a lot hungry… both phenomenon striking at weird times. I can have no appetite and then suddenly an hour later be ravenous. I can be not-tired for awhile after a workout, rejuvenated, even… then fall into a thick fog of fatigue. My body is taking on the lean, hungry look of marathoning. A couple pounds down. I’m not lifting much, if it all, just some light toning and strengthening. Core work a couple times a week. But my legs are being chiseled and pummeled. My quads are hard, my calves snug in skinny jeans. Sitting on the couch after hard workouts or long runs, I can feel and see muscle fibers twitch and hum and gyrate in their little recovery dance. Oh, and I need new shoes AGAIN and my pile of running laundry never ends. Yep, it’s marathon training. I’ve averaging 50 miles a week, and this week I will hit 60 if all miles go as planned. The speedwork is changing from the shorter, faster stuff to 6 x 1 mile or 4 x 1.5 mile repeats and the upcoming 2 x 2 mile, 3 x 2 mile, and 2 x 3. Tempos are around 7:40-8:00. I ran 18 last Sunday-- 8 at MP + 20 seconds and the remaining 10 with Clark at 9:xx. Mid-distance runs, like those 10/10 back-to-backs on Saturday and Sunday on the inbetween “easy” weeks are averaging in the 8:teens or faster. Some days it feels comfortable, some days it’s a struggle. Just more realities of marathon training. I am enjoying this marathon training cycle more than probably any so far. The company of an RB, obviously, and the fact that we are training for the same destination race. But I have become a little looser with my grasp, a little more okay with the journey. I’m not a slave to the plan, even if it is the somewhat rigorous Hansons Marathon Method… it’s only a doable method for me if I can DO it, and I can only fit it into my sometimes crazy life if I’m able to adjust. As long as the miles are at or near what I’m supposed to be, the speedwork and long run distances are according to plan, and I get that cumulative fatigue stuff at the end of the week, I tweak whenever I need to. Life’s too short and running’s too fun to be needlessly stressed out by it. Buffalo is in 7 weeks. Which means I have about 5 weeks before the taper. I’m not nervous yet. Historically, I peak too early when I do the longer 16-18 week plans, so I’m hoping this shorter, but just as intense, training will have me ready at the right time without ending into over-trained, burned-out territory. I feel strong right now. Strong and happy with running. The Plan never wavers. Get that 3:38 PR and BQ down to a more comfortable 3:30-3:34. Because we all know that short of a miracle, that 1 minute and 52 seconds I got for my Wineglass BQ is not enough to get in. And if Buffalo isn’t the golden ticket for me, I have Erie (possibly) and Wineglass (definitely) to train for in the fall. Last minute chance for 2019 at Erie and a let’s-just-start-over look at 2020 at Wineglass. Still chasing it, still wanting it. Just over here putting in the work. Goin’ hard, but at the same time, ‘takin it easy’ as the Eagles recommend. Trying to not let the sound of (my) own wheels make me crazy…
  6. PegLeg

    LA Marathon Race Report

    So many congrats! Bank and bonk seems to work for you, so rock on! Really hoping to join you at BOS2019! Way to kill it!!!
  7. We run tempos and 400m intervals and runs of 8+ miles, we are running 20 or more miles a week together, we’ve had great runs and crappy runs, we’ve run in rain, snow, wind and sleet. But the moment I knew with firm certainty that Clark, my new running buddy and protege running his very first race, was a RUNNER for real and for always was when he announced at Mile 4: “Boy, I sure am glad I was able to poop this morning!” So am I, dude. SO AM I. The New Runner Guy Clark (for the backstory on him see my two previous bloops) and I have been planning and training for this race for a couple of months. I mixed training with him along with my own marathon training, and it resulted in both getting him ready and helping me stay motivated and add mileage. Clark crashed on our couch the night before, since he lives about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of the race. While sitting around the evening before, DH kept reminiscing about a few of his racing glory days, but he was happy to go to bed and know he could sleep in till the cows come home the next morning (He's planning on running a spring 5k with me, though!). We runners were up bright and early to get some food and coffee choked down and head to the Peninsula. Race nerves are so much easier to squelch when you are with someone. Clark and I are like siblings; we banter and joke and hurl insults. Today, him being the newbie meant we could cover all the “first-time” jokes nicely (just relax and follow my lead, I’ll be gentle with you, start slow so you don’t blow up early, I’ll let you finish first since I’m the experienced one, etc. etc.) like a couple of degenerate 12 year olds, laughing hysterically and snorting coffee first thing in the morning. But like actual siblings, we’re also fiercely loyal and close. Clark is the kind of friend I could call any time of the day if I’m in some dire need and he would drop everything. And I would do the same. I was majorly a little annoyed that he was so darn calm, though. I AM NERVOUS AND ITS MY 62ND RACE! HOW ARE YOU NOT NERVOUS?!!! He shrugged and kept saying coolly, ‘I’m not nervous’… what is there to be nervous about? What’s the worst that can happen?’ FINE, YER NOT NERVOUS, YA IRRITANT! Kidding... I was impressed and just secretly a little jealous. He wasn’t nervous, I could tell. Relaxed as an old man on his front porch rockin' chair. He wasn’t doubting our sub-50 goal, either, asking me what splits we are running to accomplish it and commenting on the pleasant morning and the beautiful Bayfront views. I chalked it up to his years of experience in competitive sports like baseball and football, because it was the only way I could salvage my tattered dignity (You Loopsters better never betray me by telling this guy, if I ever bring him to a Loopfest, what a basket case I was at Marshall… Rehoboth… Philly…Wineglass. Okay, all the races. BOOOO!). Like I said, cool as cucumber (below). And holding the pikermi sweatshirt he borrowed from my DH, one that TOsuperstar gifted him years ago. Fitting to wear for a race, for sure. Though clear and sunny, the cold temps called for layers for anyone spectating. Prerace selfie in the parking lot: The St. Pat’s Day 5k/10k is always a fun race. After a long winter, some 300-400 Erie runners come charging out of their treadmilling, espresso-drinking, too-much-pizza-eating, YakTrak-wearing lairs to celebrate the start of spring running and shake off the winter rust. And there was a boatload of rust to shake this year. Punxsutawney Phil called it, March came in like a lion and stayed lion-like, and Erie is creeping up on Buffalo’s record snowfall of just under 200 inches in one winter. We’ve had snow and cold for what seems like an eternity. But here we were: 300+ hardy runners turning out on a morning that was a crisp 25 degrees at race start. Clark and I ambled into the building where all the race action was happening. Got our packets, put on the timing chips (you need help getting that thing on?), started checking the time to see how close we were to race time. People were trickling in steadily now, and every couple of minutes I was seeing a running friend. The great thing about the local scene is that no matter how long it’s been since you showed up to race, you just pick up right where you left off: talking about running, racing, training. And the usual sandbagging, just in case your race went to the dogs: I haven’t been running that much… winter’s been rough…life got in the way… dude, I don’t know when I last did speedwork! The 5k was first! Clark had the advantage of getting to watch a race firsthand before actually running one himself. He had his layers on and was watching the proceedings with interest. He took a prerace pic (FYI, I'm freezing!)... ... then I lined up with the crowd of 300+ runners and we were off with the usual mad 5k mass scramble. I tried to settle into a comfortable pace while dodging people at the front of the race who should have started halfway back. I don’t know that I ever settled into a comfortable pace, though?! Maybe it was the exceptional volume of winter rust, maybe it was training for a marathon instead of shorter distances, maybe it was the hard speedwork I’d done just 3 days before? But it felt uncomfortable and not smooth the entire way. Mile 1 came in at 7:04. Perfect. Still uncomfortable, but it would get better and faster, right? We looped back nearly past the race start and people were gathered by the course to cheer. Clark was taking pics, but I could only smile and nod. 5ks are not the race distance where the runner can shout greetings and salutations or swing over for a high-five. But it’s always great for an extra boost to hear a friendly voice when you’re struggling to breathe and feeling the Grim Reaper of Lactic Acid clawing at your calf muscles. There was this little kid whom I fell into step with just before we hit the spectator section. He was gritty. He was fast. He also kept surging, falling, surging, falling. Probably 5-6 times. Surge ahead with an impressive kick, then slow down. I’d reel him in slowly, bearing down behind him, and he’d keep glancing over his shoulder. I’d pass him. Within 30 seconds of being passed, here he comes again, steaming around me with his legs churning, face red and breathing loudly. Ughhh, I wanted to put him behind me… but at the same time, I admired the crap out of his fortitude. Lots of little kids, you pass them once and they shrivel up like worms on a hot sidewalk. Not this one. Mile 2: 7:05. CRUD. It was just one second slower, but I was not feeling better. And the hardest part was coming up ahead, where the turnaround takes you back to the course. Into any wind coming off the Lake, and a slight uphill. It’s mentally the worst stretch of any race here on PI; that .5 mile section always gets me in the grumpies like OOOOOOF, KILL ME NOW! Every step was now a cruel reminder of why I love/hate 5ks (all hate at the moment) and how I haven’t been training to race 5ks. But, I was still managing to pass people. I passed at least 6 women on the course, and probably just as many dudes. And that’s the story, all the way to the finish. Pain… slowing slightly (Mile 3 was 7:09, grrrrr)... and THAT DARN KID!!!!!! I mustered up a little bit of kick to the finish with a 6:15 pace for the final .16. I’d seen the clock from a distance coming into the final turn, saw the 22:xx and knew my goal of sub-22 wasn’t happening. Oh well. I focused on pushing to the finish line. My legs and lungs were screaming in perfect-pitch unison, my head was throbbing with every step, and I was only vaguely aware of Clark, a red blur standing at the side of the course, yelling ‘something-something PEEEEEEEG!’ 22:13. Not my fastest 5k. But still, my 4th fastest (21:35, 21:46, and 21:52 were my faster ones) out of the 24 5ks I’ve completed, so there’s that, I guess. Along with 31st place overall (of 332 participants), 5th female, and 1st (of 21 total) in the 35-39 AG. Oh, and that kid beat me! By a few seconds. What a little turd trooper! My head stopped throbbing and my eyes refocused through the pain fog to see Clark waiting patiently, still carrying the gym bag full of all our stuff. I had a brief moment of panic… how the heck am I going to be able to pace this guy to a sub-50 in 30 minutes when my legs feel like jello right now? But after some water and sitting down to catch a breath, things returned to more manageable and runnable state. It was racetime soon! AGAIN! YAY (this was MY first time doing a double, btw)! For Clark, almost go-time for his first race EVER! He left to do his warmup and visit the restroom and I chatted with more local running friends that were popping out of the woodwork to run the 10k. We joined the crowd at the race start. I was so excited to get rolling. A little nervous about my pacing duties. Jittery. Probably more so than Clark, who was calmly watching the crowd and stretching and helping me out of my warm-up sweatshirt because I was shivering uncontrollably from the chill of sweating and standing in the barely-30 degree temps. I usually like to help undress, he joked impishly, and our laughter cut the race nerves down right where they were standing. Our plan was set, our splits were in my head, and our goal of sub-50 hung there in front of us like a carrot. I had faith in Clark, he was putting his faith in me, and this was a team effort. Then we were lining up, we were on our marks, we were OFF! For not having felt very good during the 5k, my legs were fine now! Huh. Maybe I should run a 5k warmup before actually running a 5k? However, it also helped that I was running a minute per mile slower than I was for the 5k. Definitely less painful. People were shooting past us like torpedoes, but I held back. I could tell Clark was itching to run, with the typical eagerness of a first time racer. Slow down, I said. We’re running 7:30s… 2 minutes later: Slow down… we’re still running 7:30s! It was an effort to slow down. Which is a good thing. Less than a mile in, we were coming up behind a running friend, Juliann. I knew approximately what her goal pace was and I knew she was a very consistent runner. We would hang with her for awhile. Mile 1: 8:07. A little faster than our intended 8:15, but I could tell Clark was completely relaxed with the pace. He hung off my shoulder, occasionally switching sides. Mile 2: Another 8:07. Still feeling good, or at least I was. Clark said he was too. I kept asking, checking. He had a relaxed stride, even breathing, and was inquiring about splits at the mile markers. Good. We came up behind Brianne, another running friend. She had told us before the race that we would probably catch her, first time runner or not, so now she glanced over and said “Told YA!” She’s a triathlete, so if this were a swimming or biking race we’re be left in the dust. We also passed Karen, my running friend who is the RD of my favorite spring 5k. The first turnaround, and Mile 3: 8:00 flat. A little ahead of schedule, but good. Then I sensed Clark, restless, chomping at the bit. He pulled up beside me. “What was that mile? Are we picking it up now?” I chuckled inwardly. We’re not even halfway… there’s a lot of race left, I told him. Patience was really important right now. He listened, fell into step. I was tempted to let him loose, just to see what would happen but nope… we all know how those end. It was important to me that his first race be a positive one, not one where he falls apart at Mile 5.5 because the pacer took him out too fast. Julianne was still ahead, keeping her consistent pace at a nearly-8:00 pace. Clark was relaxed, even chatting now and then. The runners, the pace, the views of Presque Isle… Frankly, I’d expected him to have to start working a little harder a little sooner than he did. I was still holding him back a little, though, so I was relieved when he kept talking. It meant he was relaxed. I was having a blast. No pressure on me, except to maintain this pace, which felt pretty good. Yes, my legs were tired, but not race-pain-tired. It felt good to be out here, doing what I loved, with friends, soaking in the camaraderie, the competition, the friendly support and banter. I have missed racing so much! Mile 4: 7:46. Almost sub-consciously, I’d picked up the pace and started bearing down just a little. It was race time. Hard work time. Pain time. This was where Clark could test himself. I tried to stay aware of his body language. Was he breathing too hard? Was his stride faltering? Was he fading? But no, there he was, glued to my shoulder, a few paces behind. As I took the seconds down, he matched the pace. No whining, no complaining. He stopped talking, mostly, and I could sense that he was pushing now. But not faltering a smidge. My legs were not getting happier, though. That 22 minute 5k was yelling at me. Then he said it: “Boy, I’m glad I was able to poop this morning!” I laughed aloud. It was the best, funniest, most fitting thing I’d heard all morning. We have a real runner here, folks. Talking about poop as naturally and comfortably as a non-runner talks about his morning coffee. Next up: nipple chafing. Yes, we need to have The Talk about that, heading into longer races. There is no limit to the interesting conversations when you’re a runner. Mile 5: 7:34. I was in slight disbelief that we were this far in the race and already dropping so far below our 8:00 flat goal. I knew now that we had it in the bag… but I was going to bring it as far under 50 minutes as I could! I picked up the pace. We passed Juliann; her clockwork pacing no longer satisfactory. We thundered past a couple more people. We’ve got this, I told Clark. It was obvious by now that he was pushing, working. It was starting to hurt. Mile 5.5: I was glancing down and seeing 7:20s. I was in full-on race mode. Clark asked, his voice raspy, what we were running. I told him. 7:20s. We’re ahead of schedule. Don’t think about it. Just focus on me, follow me. I’ll take you in. We got to the little turnaround, heading into the nasty grind of KILL ME NOW. Except it seemed shorter this time, mostly because I was focusing on running as fast/hard as I could without losing Clark… steady, steady… keep him controlled. He was breathing hard now, hurting, I could hear the effort in every intake. I could see the pain creeping into his face. But he never complained or let up, and he kept his stride smooth. I was so stinkin proud of him. Hang in there, you’ve got this. Mile 6: 7:25. We rounded the corner into the final .2. I picked up the pace another notch; we were nearly sub-7 now. Heck, I was hurting now! Clark was tight behind me, giving it his all. Then we could see the clock, the homestretch. I started yelling. THERE IT IS, WE’VE GOT IT, CLARK, C’MON, GOOOOO! KICK IT!!! And kick he did. He burst into some overdrive craziness and was matching my sprint, stride for stride, almost overtaking me. Uh, nope, not so quick, buddy, so I answered with a surge that overtook him again. He fired back, losing all abandonment and kicking past me. I yelled, “HEY, YOU IDIOT!!!” (in fun, of course!), then remembered that I am, after all, the pacer, slowed up, finished the race laughing… 2 seconds behind him… as he fist-pumped and grinned victoriously. Is that the well-deserved euphoria of a first time race finisher or WHAT?! 48:32 official time. 7:50 average pace, 10 seconds per mile faster than our goal. And for a brand new runner… only 170 total miles since Clark began running a couple of months ago! Also, another 1st place 35-39 AG win for me. And just about the prettiest mile splits you'll ever see. I can’t even describe how I felt as it hit me that we had just smashed the sub-50 goal by nearly a minute and a half! I gave Clark a few seconds; he was bent over with his hands on his knees. Then he stood up, painfully, and turned to face me, holding his arms out for a celebratory hug, a mixture of exhaustion and elation on his face. This was my first experience with pacing someone I’d coached/trained, and there in that moment, both of us smiling, laughing, sweating, trembling a little with the cold and the pure, hard shot of adrenaline, our pulses still thudding with the effort of that last sprint: it made every minute and every mile of training so worth it. That very first 2 mile run we ran, in frigid temps and snow...The circles around the community park...The speed sessions on the treadmill...The 8 mile long run at the peninsula...The good runs, the crappy runs...The times we ran for speed and the times we ran to get life and complexities and difficult things off our chest. I felt tears prickle at my eyelids… “You’re making me cry a little”, I muttered, and Clark chuckled. I was/am so incredibly proud of him! This is where it’s at, guys. Running, racing, and then sharing it with others and knowing you brought another person into this fellowship. It was one of the top 5 proudest, most satisfying moments I’ve experienced as a runner. Bringing someone along from first run to first race, to this magical place called The Finish Line. Where you lose yourself in the pain and then find yourself again in the joy. Where problems disappear, life gets put on pause, and a little nirvana opens up. Where you feel just about as alive and free as you’ll ever feel. You fall in love with it, hate to leave it, and keep coming back for more. For Clark, the more is already in motion. We’re training for a spring half marathon.
  8. I took all that time off, post-Wineglass. Months. I slept in and redecorated my house and painted walls and spent time with friends and watched a lot of baseball and football. It was good and it was necessary. It was eye-opening to realize that there are other things to find joy in. But the goodness and necessity of time off ran its course. I started feeling restless lately. Like something wasn’t there that belonged there. I didn’t think it was running, because I didn’t have a sudden raging desire to run all the time. I spent a month or so after the New Year in a sort of funk. Some other struggles and difficulties that are normally just a part of my daily life suddenly looked mountainous. My birthday came and went and I had some low days of feeling panic… I’d hit my mid 30s and even though I wasn’t miserable or unhappy, I also wasn’t exactly happy. I felt bland, mediocre. Like my life was a car on cruise, driving through flat, boring, changeless scenery. Coasting. I’d lost my joie de vivre. I’m sure you already know what that means, a French phrase for “vivacity”, “exuberance” and, more completely: “the joy of living”. Not just life as a noun--- people, places and things, but life as a verb, and action. It’s entirely possible to love life- the people and things in it- while being completely bored and complacent with all the acts and experiences of living. And that’s where I was… lacking the joy of life in action, feeling nothing where I used to be lusting for living… being alive, acting alive, feeling alive. And one day, after a particularly difficult series of days that had nothing whatsoever to do with running and everything to do with living, I remembered running. Racing, especially, and what it did for me. It brought me confidence, strength, poise, courage, the lessons of testing my physical limits and pushing through them. It purged me of so much uncertainly and hurt and self-esteem issues, bringing me to love myself and my body for what I was capable of. When I raced and ran, I felt free. I was living… breathing in air and sunshine and wind and wanting more. Always more. It was time to recapture that. I started by making plans. Marathon plans. Memorial Day weekend. Buffalo. Flat (mostly) and fast. Two hour drive from home. Run the marathon Sunday and have a Monday vacation day to recuperate before heading back to a job that requires me on my feet for 5-6 hours straight. Yes, it might be hot and humid for an end-of-May marathon, but that’s part of the gamble. There’s always another marathon around the corner. Of course the goal is to shave another few minutes off that 3:38 time… 3:34 is what I’d feel comfortable with, sub-3:30 is what I have tucked away in my wildest-dreams corner. But life is full and there are not enough hours in a day! I work 25-30 hours a week… DH works upwards of 50, which means I have all the housework and all the loose ends stuff with the kids to tie up on my own. Kids… as they get older, the time involved does not lessen. Suddenly, they have their activities and things to get to—and are still young enough to need parental oversight for almost everything. We’re increasingly involved in our church and community. We have an active social life with lots of wonderful friends. I love all that, because my friends are awesome and my faith is very important to me... but yessssss, it takes up chunks of time in which I don’t run. But you fit things in the best you can, keep your priorities straight and hope it’s enough for the running department. I know that when I toed the line at Wineglass, I was undertrained and lacking confidence. BUT, I managed- on heart, determination, and enough experience with marathon defeat and failure to push a little beyond where training had taken me. Maybe this time I’ll be lucky enough to get 90% of the runs in, escape injury, and get to Buffalo with more confidence and my victory at Wineglass to build on. We’ll see what the next 12 weeks bring! So now I’m at that early stage in marathon training where I’m easing back into hard workouts and longer runs and increased mileage and dang, everything feels really tough but at the same time, SO GOOD. l look at my little 4 x 1200m workout that completely exhausted me and think, how am I ever going to run 6 x 1 mile repeats and 3 x 2s? Then I run a strong 8 miler with 6 miles of tempo on the treadmill… starting at 8:00 pace and ending in the sub-7:40s… and think, MAAAAAAAYBE? After all, I’ve been through this a few times and I know how it happens: Training. Consistency. Hard work. Determination. Sacrifice. And a whole bunch of luck, good or bad: injuries, illness, life events and circumstance, weather on race day, blah-blah. Marathoning is a gamble, one that can make dreamers and fools—and eventually, maybe, if the sun shines on us, victors- of all of us. I already made it through a 3 week session of bronchitis and step throat and sinus infection crud just before training started, so let’s hope I got all the bad luck out of the way. In the meantime… remember my last post? How to Lose A (Non-Runner) in 10 Days?> https://loopsters.org/index.php?/entry/294-how-to-lose-a-non-runner-in-10-days/ Did any of you wonder if it lasted, if the guy stuck with it, if he ended up truly joining the fellowship of runners… or if it just wasn’t the thing, it was too hard, it required too much… ??????? Well, that’s my friend C. He’s running his first race on St. Pat’s Day and chose the 10k for his racing debut. He ran 26 miles this past week, his highest week… including a 24:47 5k on an easy run, a 3 mile tempo at 8:00 flat and today, his longest run of 8 miles. Last weekend he went to his local high school track all by himself and ran an 8x400m workout when I told him to run 6x400m. One day a couple weeks ago he texted a selfie… him out there running with this satisfied look on his face, and the words: “Just ran my first 10k.” On his own! Lately he bought some running gear on one of my Running Warehouse orders … a long-sleeved tech shirt, running jacket, beanie, tights... couldn’t hide the grin when he came around for the next run in his sleek, legit running gear and neither could I! He'd also had the sickness crud I did, only a week or two earlier, and whined about all the fitness he’s missing in one week off. Gotta get back to running, he says. And on one of our last runs, he mentioned something along the lines of “once I run a marathon…” !!!!!! You know there’s no coming back once that thought is planted. Yep, C.’s got it, and got it bad. And I am proud as punch. He’s MY protégé. I made a runner out of him! Except… he’s the one doing the work. I’m just motivating and coaching. But strangely, it’s helping me, too, in this whole ‘joie de vivre’ hunt. It's like going through that exciting new-runner phase all over again. There have been days when I could have found an excuse not to run, but meeting up with C. meant I got it done, or did some extra. Miles go by faster when you’re chatting; it’s fun having a local running buddy after years of training mostly alone. And I’m already discovering how much fresher my legs are for speedwork days when I run inbetween/easy days with C, because our conversational pace is where I’m actually supposed to be doing easy runs at!! At the same time, we’re both extremely competitive... so there we are on the gym treadmills, eyeing the other’s paces during speed sessions and bumping up our own. Or racing the last .2 of a run outdoors. He’s playing basketball once a week and doing some boot camp on the side as cross training and told me recently he’s feeling great physically as well as more positive mentally. Which is exactly what I hoped to accomplish with getting him started running. It helps that my husband and I are friends with him… he is like a brother to us. He goes to our church, hangs out with our family, shares meals at our table, watches TV and movies with us on weekends. Going thru a divorce is rough, one of the hardest things in life... but friendship helps, maybe? And running. Running always helps. So my next race(s)?! The local St. Pat’s Day race is a 5k/10k double header. I plan to race the 5k moderately hard to see what I can do after not racing a 5k since last May (holy crap, it’s been that long!). I am both nervous and stoked to race again. I will then pace C. for the 10k, which takes place an hour after the 5k start. My fervent prayer for that is to have enough left in the legs to pace him properly to the goal of a sub-50 minute finish. I’m confident he has that in him if the weather is favorable. He has the grit and competitive spirit of a good racer. Yes, there will be a race report! The past months have solidified for me: running and racing is just part of who I am, it is stitched on the fabric of my soul. In being away from it, I slowly lost a part of who I was. Only to wake up one day and find that niggling nudge turned into a full-blown ache. I missed it, the running and racing… the nerves, the pain, the finish-line feeling. I missed long runs. I missed the wind in my face. I missed the hard leanness of my body when I am fully trained, my leg muscles ripped. I missed the invincible feeling of running for hours, stamina fed by sweat, heart pumping, elevated heart rate, multiplied blood volume, and expanded lungs. I missed the sweetness of total exhaustion. I missed the deep sleep and the insatiable hunger that lets me eat large amounts of food and have it all burned back into energy. I missed the sparkle in my eye, the bounce in my step, the vitality. I missed the intoxicating rush of endorphins after a tough workout or a race where I left it all out there. I missed my old self, too. The badass, competitive, passionate Peg… with too much laundry and endless pairs of shoes cluttering the stairs and always worrying about a tweak or a twinge that might turn to injury. The Peg that loves filling in all the miles on spreadsheets and obsessing over Strava data and plotting races and blogging about running. The Peg that lives and breathes the joy of life, the lust for living… the “joie de vivre”. The Peg that is always scared of her goals and overthinks everything and has a vicious race kick. The Peg that ran. But she’s here again. 44 miles for this week, including 2 speed workouts, and a long run of 10 miles. Legs that ache with fatigue. Invigorated mind and spirit. And a race in 2 weeks. That’s more like it.
  9. PegLeg

    A new year, a new(ish) me?

    I LOLed a lot while reading this post... May you rock the run in 2018!
  10. PegLeg

    2018. NBD.

    I have no experience with this getting-old thing yet, so I watch and learn... I love Poldark! Kind of Jane Austen... but with a little more spice and audacity? I read the books, and then discovered there's a show and it was so great seeing the books come to life. I feel a strong kinship with the misfit Demelza... also doesn't hurt that Aiden Turner is one handsome bloke.
  11. PegLeg

    Rehoboth RR

    You know you're officially not an old guy yet it if you can hold in a poop AND run a sub-1:40. So congrats on that confirmation of OSOMness!
  12. To get that close on the first OTQ attempt is pretty significant, I think. You will get there! In the meantime, you are inspiring the heck out of the rest of us. Congrats on such a huge PR and great race!
  13. PegLeg

    Well That Was Fun! Central Florida Spartan Beast

    This is the absolute best way to get through a running injury. Kudos to you for choosing to get even stronger... and what great pics!
  14. PegLeg

    To Sub3 Or Not To Sub3

    So proud of you! You worked extremely hard for this goal for awhile now, and glad to see you smash in such a big way. CONGRATULATIONS!
  15. PegLeg

    How to Lose A (Non-Runner) In 10 Days

    A few years have passed since I first visited a running store and bought my first running shoes. A few years have passed since I decided to hit the road and run those initial calf-burning, lung-searing miles. A few years have passed since I once again fell in love with the endorphin rush that washed over me in the wake of cooling sweat, thundering heart rate, taut, quivering muscles quieting into total body relaxation (yes, I’m talking about RUNNING here, kids…). You can experience this stuff all over again, though. Find a brand new runner. Someone who said “I’m not a runner!” as recently as a few months ago. Someone who talked about seeing runners on the road with just the slightest hint of amusement under the tone of voice, like… yeah, those people. Someone who joked about being chased if you saw him needing to run. Someone who played all the real sports like baseball, basketball, golf, etc. But maybe that someone starts realizing how much running has been a part of your life, your makeup, your history. The difference it made. The way your eyes shine when you talk about a BQ, a marathon, about training. The way your face becomes a study of resignation and pain when a race that was your goal is a bust… but then the way your face came alive when you accomplished it and could talk about it in terms of victory. How you speak of the things that plagued you before running, and how different it is now. And your friend starts thinking. “Maybe I should start running?” He asked it quietly, suddenly, the almost-always-sad eyes sparking with just a little hope, a shred of motivation. “Do you think it would help me?” I tried hard not to show the surprise that I felt. That was a quick turnaround from “I’m NOT a runner.” But desperate times call for desperate measures. And losing a marriage of 12 years, with all the ongoing pain and conflict and emotional upheavals it brings, along with trying to be a dad to two kids, staying afloat financially, struggling with depression and loneliness, and daily battling the taunting clutches of former alcoholism (4 years clean as of Summer, 2013… not a drop since)… well, those are desperate times. Life gets hard. Nights get long. Everything comes crashing down. Sometimes you just need some solitude and sweat and the wind in your face. Sometimes you need to get physical with the ghosts of your pasts and the demons of your present. Do you think running would help? He asks. Um, YES. I do. It helped when I was alone and desperate, when I wanted to take my own life. It helped when I was trying to process what had happened to me as a child versus what was happening to me becoming a woman. It helped when I hated my body and started starving myself and throwing up. It helped when I went through my first heartbreak, and when my then-best-friend betrayed my confidence and told my secrets to many. It helped when my relationship with my father was practically nonexistent. It helped when people called me “wild”, improper, unladylike, not find-a-husband material, and immodest for my love for the outdoors and my thinly veiled yearning to be free. Yep, even way back then, on the dirt roads, in an ankle length dress, in shoes I had to spray paint black to make them acceptable to my father the Bishop, and in doing something I didn’t even know the proper name for (we called it jogging). And it helped me when I left my culture behind and sought my way through a labyrinth of changes in a strange new world. It helped me beat back depression, leave an eating disorder in my past, learn to respect and love my body, and gain confidence and poise. It helped me learn strength and resilience when I struggled through the dark time of running injury. Running helped. Within a week or two of the initial conversation, I took my friend to his first running store experience. He saw the rows of shoes and the racks of tech gear. He had his gait analyzed. He put on about 7 different pairs of shoes before choosing well (Altra Torins), trying them out on the small track in the store. Then I ran his first 2 miles as a runner with him, just as the winter sun was sinking low and we finished in the shades of dusk. He takes to it comfortably; a relaxed, natural stride. The background in sports shows up and will be a benefit. 8:03 pace for the run and he’s not even gasping. And he likes it. He might run a race sometime. He wants to try trails next summer. He talks about “needing a run” when he’s up against a particular stressful, conflict-filled day. He’s a runner. I made up a beginner’s training plan and emailed it to him, happy to have added another convert to the shared fellowship of finding peace on the open road and secluded trail. Running helps, for sure.
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