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RonSwansonsStache

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Everything posted by RonSwansonsStache

  1. Wow, that many days off and that much mileage! #runnergoals If ya’ll like Uno, try out Skip-bo if you haven’t played it. Seeing that Ridgerunners plaque makes me miss Springfield! I could go for some Andy’s right about now.
  2. Yes, and in the afterlife shoes never wear out and pets never die or go poop.
  3. Yeah I’ll miss them. Overall, the color scheme of most shoes this season are snoozeworthy.
  4. I’ve heard about these Jen and Angie characters. And the things I have heard have not been necessarily wholesome things. Proceed with caution. Also to the bike lead- you had one job!
  5. running on last Sunday would have been a fool’s errand! 💨
  6. I have a friend and he’s the American Flag short shorts in my old town. Luckily, there was never any wardrobe malfunction to which I bared witness to.
  7. Were you obsessed with the word smoke in those days? 😛
  8. I’m down to my last pair of Saucony Triumphs 3’s. Since last year was a bust I still was hoarding a couple pairs at the beginning of last year because the Triumph 4’s were TRASH. Luckily the 5’s are a better iteration, so while I’ll be disappointed I won’t have another pair, I’m comfortable with the 5’s being the new go to shoe after my last pair of 3’s cross the rainbow bridge. I could tell you how much I loved the 3’s but why take my word for it? “Fact. These are running shoes.” ~ Dwight Schrute “I was once in love with a man who bought a trunk full of these. Who am I kidding, I still am. He wouldn’t get rid of his cat and here I am.....married to the guy who played Jim on the NBC hit The Office. Regrets, I have some.” ~ Emily Blunt “These shoes made make me feel like I could’ve made it through a third term. Yes we can!” ~ President Barack Obama “I once outran a very hungry T-Rex in a pair of Saucony Triumph 3’s. The lawyer, in the suit with shorts? Yeah, let’s not talk about that.” Dr. Ian Malcolm “Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope Be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope Be bop ba bodda bope Bop ba bodda bope” ~ The Scatman “These shoes definitely belong to house Hufflepuff.” ~ JK Rowling “‘‘Tis the shoe that sends electric impulses through thy loins.” Ghost of Benjamin Franklin “You get a Triumph 3! You get a Triumph 3! You get a Triumph 3!” ~ the really friendly, but inebriated clerk at Fleet Feet who got canned after just 30 minutes on the job for attempting to give away free shoes. She will be missed. “I done accidentally put them shoes on of yours and Boy Howdy! Them are damn comfy!!!” ~ Harold P. Ketchum from my bowling team the other night after Tuesday night league play.
  9. Sweet Mags told me to tell you that yer an oxyMORON and that you’re going on the shitlist.
  10. RonSwansonsStache

    Grinding it Out

    Off the front page unless your bloop contained the phrase “ass chafing.” Keep grindin’ old man.
  11. You wrote the bloop I’ve been wanting to write the last couple months, but wrote it better and with less curse words. Training plan? We don’t need no stinkin’ training plan!
  12. Don’t be talkin’ about those heels hurtin’. That’s a big nope.
  13. You’re post inspired me revisit these: https://youtu.be/GzkXuHu-xYc
  14. Wishin’ for turds. You’re even weirder than I thought you were. 💩
  15. Yo, I feel your struggle. I was feeling the same about doing the full pig in May. I saw the schedule and started getting anxious about a plan I hadn’t even started. Why? Cause probably it’s natural to do so. But here’s my question that settled it for me- shouldn’t running conform to my life? Why am I spending so much physical and mental energy trying to fit in this very narrow, specific timeline? And for what? What do I gain by blindly trying to check every box and dot every i if this generic training plan? Injury? Overtraining? Self hate? Run what you want and what feels right to you. I don’t give an eff if you ever run another 26.2, you’re still cool no matter what Sweet Mags says.
  16. Sweet Mags: What in the hell are you doing? Rob: What the hell does it look like I’m doing? I’m blooping. Sweet Mags: Good golly! I haven’t heard you talk about those losers- er I mean Loopsters in like a hot minute. Rob: Well, if you recollect last year was a bust. I ran like 3 miles total last year after screwing up my back. Didn’t even get to go to Rehoboth to spectate in a sparkle skirt cause I was sicker than a dog. Sad times. Sweet Mags: Oh yeah, I remember you whining about that. Well, I know you’re running again because I can smell your clothes. Gosh, I’ll remember the good times when your undies didn’t fill the house with the smell of hot garbage. I mean, I guess you’re in a better mood and less of an asshole now that you’re running again. Rob: Not just running. Also, sleeping and lifting. Sweet Mags: Lifting my turds out of the litter box? Rob: Weights, jerkface. Since December. It’s been a real blessing, Sweet Mags. It’s like all I had to do is get a lot of good sleep, lift weights, eat reasonably and the running came back. Sweet Mags! The running came back. Sweet Mags: Get a hold of yourself!!!!!! Rob: Never! It’s called a runner’s high and I’ll do anything for another hit. Even bench press with the meat heads and go to sleep early. Sweet Mags: You’ve gone mad. Mad! Rob: Anyway, it hasn’t all been good. There was that incident with the HOKAs. Sweet Mags: The marshmallow shoes? Rob: Yep. The shoes some people call hookahs and not in an ironic way. Sweet Mags: They were almost as fugly as your Altras. Rob: Don’t talk about my Altras. That’s a line you do not cross. Sweet Mags: So what was the deal with the marshmallow shoes. Rob: Well, you know I get a good discount at the running store I work at on the weekends. Sweet Mags: Why can’t you work at a pet store and get me discounts? Rob: Cause people who have pets are insane. Sweet Mags: I mean, you have a valid point. Rob: Anyway, I bought a pair of Hoka Bondi. You know cause the damn Clifton 5 is still to narrow for my hobbit foot. One run in and my knee was screaming. Not only that, but I felt like I was going to trip over my feet with every other stride. It was a nightmare. So I took them home and burned them in a sacrifice to the running gods. Sweet Mags: Did you make s’mores out of them? Rob: You know I can’t lie to you. I returned them and exchanged them for Saucony Triumph 5’s. Sweet Mags: That’s my boy Rob: Thankfully, the Saucony got their shit together after the very disappointing 4’s. Sweet Mags: The Triumphs are cool, but you know I’m a barefoot runner. I don’t need to be shod with shoes that are just going to impede my performance. Rob: The barefoot movement died. Sweet Mags: You died! Rob: Shut it! Sweet Mags: I’ve already ran 6 hundos this year. Rob: I’ve ran about thirteen miles in January and about that much in February and I couldn’t be happier. I did my first threasy in over a year tonight! Sweet Mags: What do you want, a cookie? Rob: A couple of eggs and a Greek yogurt would be bomb. Sweet Mags: Greek yogurt tastes like ass. Rob: You should know. Ok dude, I gotta finish this bloop. Go chase your tail. Sweet Mags: Tell the Loopsters they suck. I’m OUT!
  17. I’m bummed that this isn’t a race put on by Jenster.
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