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Age.

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Dave

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Every day it seems there's something that reminds me that I'm past the stage of "getting older." I'm the old guy. I've been with my company longer than most of the newer employees have been alive. 3 of my 4 children are older than many of the people I work with.

There's sadness but no longer shock when someone from my high school class shows up in a death notice. Young to be dying, but also not so out of the ordinary. Heart attacks, cancer. People should die when they're 80 or 90, not 60, but better than 20-30-40, or even younger. We've had a life, married, raised children, seen a few grandchildren even. While it's a little early to be jumping off the merry-go-round, at least we had several turns. Grabbed at that brass ring a few times. Sadness, sure. But not the sense of tragedy and outrage of the young losing all their opportunities to learn and grow and experience this life and all its beauty.

I miss feeling light and fast and strong. I miss pushing my body and mind to its limits, wondering where those limits were. I miss the feeling of invincibility. Never thinking that I was one step away from something breaking, stretching, tearing.

It's winter. It's cold. It's overcast. There is snow and ice everywhere. The wind bites. The uneven, slippery ground makes that one step away from injury that much closer and more likely.

And yet...

I ran 40 miles last week. Sure, 16 of those were on the dreadmill - the instrument of torture that now sits in the corner of the family room, taunting and beckoning me at the same time. It's safe and warm. It's mind-numbing and painful. How many runs - days, weeks, months - does it take to like this? Ever? Is there a way to begin to embrace it? As a young man whenever I complained of something being too hard or boring, my dad would remind me that it "builds character." I feel like my character is built by now, so what can I tell myself now to get through these mechanical sessions? Running in my 60s is hard enough. What happens when I've finished the final season of The Man in the High Castle? (5 episodes to go).

Outside for the first 3 days this week. Still at 6 miles and no speedwork, although I did go after the nominal hills on Wednesday a little bit, but the distance finally seems reasonable and the pace is starting to improve.

Holding off mortality just a bit longer.

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"When I have run my best marathon and written my best piece and done my best deed of love for myself and my neighbor, i know the cry will still come from my heart: "There is more, there is more. I who have made you know." What else is a heart for, then, but to be uneasy, to ask for what seems impossible and never be satisfied? So my heart will be restless until it finds its final rest.
Then they can weigh it."

-- the prophet sheehan
 

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16 hours ago, SIbbetson said:

Is that you in the featured photo??

That's Connor (son #2) at his first middle school meet.

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Before I got hurt I did very little strength training. When I was hurt that’s ALL I did 😂. I can tell you that has helped me feel less old than I used to. You don’t even need to do a lot - 2 times a week for 20 minutes- banded walking, side stepping, some kettlebell deadlifts and squatting.

Now the ice... I’ve got nothing.

Watch Game Changers on Amazon (?)/Netflix (?). The profile a cyclist who changed her diet at age 40 to plant based (Dotsie Bausch). Made Olympic team and won an a medal. Said the diet gave her more energy and allowed her to recover faster. 

Edited by ocrunnergirl
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It's February in the Midwest so I'll allow you to be depressing. But we both know better days are ahead. The spark will return (occasionally and briefly, sure). Plenty of life left in that aging carcass.

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I can sympathize with you.   Winter in Detroit can be pretty dark and bleak, but getting to run during the winter, inside or out gives me joy.  I have been trying to be more mindful during my runs; getting into a rhythm,, noticing my turnover, breathing, heartbeat, and the my body moving through the air.  The winter provides a variety of running experiences and challenges; snow, rain, cold, and ice, but to go out and meet those challenges and sharing them with others keeps me from getting bored.

Edited by Run2BFit
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Do you ever do intervals on the TM? Maybe not official ones - but try changing the pace or incline every couple of minutes. It makes the time go fast for me.

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14 hours ago, CompulsiveRunner said:

Do you ever do intervals on the TM? Maybe not official ones - but try changing the pace or incline every couple of minutes. It makes the time go fast for me.

I did a tempo once. It was hard. My biggest issue is that every TM workout feels much more difficult than "real" running. Maybe it's an old dog-new tricks thing, since I ran for so long without one.

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