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We're All A Little Mad Here...

meowmom

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So picture this - you walk in to your sports chiro's office for your weekly torture session appointment and find him sitting at his desk, feet propped up on his table, sipping a Red Bull and grinning at you like The Cheshire Cat... o.O

I kid you not. Dude looked positively giddy. Like - mad scientist giddy. I sorta, kinda wanted to turn right around and run out, but I didn't. I mean - duh - I can't run! But this guy is pulling out all the stops to get me back to it, so I took a deep breath, repeated my 'safe word' in my head and soldiered on in...  

We went through the normal rundown of how things have felt since last week's session (he's still holding his sacred Red Bull can, feet still propped up on the table) I told him I feel bad because I still don't feel like anything has changed all that much. My feet are certainly not as achy as they have been throughout this entire ordeal, but then again, they're haven't gotten any worse since I started coming to him. He said that that was totally okay - I may not feel like anything is getting better right now, but (again with that mischievous grin) he can. He put the can down, popped out of his chair with a clap of his hands and wiggled his instruments of torture fingers in the air as if he were preparing to play the piano. As he was starting the manipulation on my right foot, he said things are definitely moving around easier and he can feel that the 5th metatarsal bone of my right foot isn't at such a crooked angle any more. I tried to utter something like "yay!", but truth be told, I was gripping the table for dear life. If I had opened my mouth to say anything, I would have sounded like Steve Carell's character in The 40 Year-Old Virgin during the scene where he's getting his chest waxed.  :o

So I just tried to keep doing my deep breathing as he dug his thumbs into those little bits of fascia in between the bones in my forefoot. I relaxed a bit as he started moving my toes around and cracking them. The *pop* of each release seemed to tickle him to no end. The left foot manipulation didn't hurt as much, so I could at least hold up my end of conversation and I even managed to ask a few questions about additional things I can do at home. And if it was normal that I had been having some lower back twinges here and there - especially on my right side. 

Someday I will learn to stop asking questions. For the next 5 or so minutes, I was flipped onto my right side, those damn thumbs were digging into the side of my hip while my leg was simultaneously bent and flexed this way, that way, down, around...........  FLIP to the other side, repeat. But that wasn't the end. Oooohhhh no. THEN came the back and neck cracking. I can't even... The flashbacks alone are making my *shudder*.

I fully expected to crumble on to the floor in a heap when I put my feet on the ground. But surprisingly enough, when I stood up, I felt like I was 6 feet tall and light as a feather. Go figure. 

The lower right quadrant of my back still doesn't feel quite right today, but it doesn't feel any worse either. And today is the third day in a row that I haven't felt like I needed to strap my feet with the Kinesio Tape, so I guess that crazy f*cker is right... 

For now, I'm scheduled in the books to continue these weekly 'happy hours' until Thanksgiving, but still taking it week by week to see how things continue to progress. Once he feels the metatarsal bones are back where they should be, he's thinking of fitting me for inserts as a maintenance tool to keep everything where it should be when I start running again. I smile every time I replay that sentence in my head. WHEN I START RUNNING AGAIN!!! I reminded him that I'll be turning the big five-oh next month and asked if he could fit me for anything else to keep other areas 'where they should be' as well... He gave me a big bear hug and told me to go home and enjoy a glass of wine.

So I went home, I popped a Tom Petty CD in to muh stereo (dudes - I don't know about y'all, but am still grieving his loss - along with Bowie and Prince, Tom Petty has been a major contributor to the soundtrack of my life... *sniff* *sniff*), propped up my feet on the coffee table, and sipped my glass of wine with my very own Cheshire Cat grin on my face... ;)

 

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I like that there is a "when I start running again." A lot. Petty was one of the first concerts that I ever went to, it was a great time. The gal in front of me was smoking a weird smelling cigarette though. Oh, and Kirk lit Melanie's hair on fire by accident at Denny's.

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4 minutes ago, Running Nole Fan said:

"Oh, and Kirk lit Melanie's hair on fire by accident at Denny's."

Even if there are no other comments on anything I ever write again, this sir, was worth it... xD

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So I've been going to PT for my hamstring for amonth and half now. The one PT did a 30 minute sports massage on my left calf and hamstring. I broke out in a sweat and there was NO conversation on my part other than "OH DEAR GOD!!!"

Prince may he RIP 😔

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14 minutes ago, unlikelyrunner said:

"running again" sounds like a prize worth the agony

That's pretty much what I keep telling myself!

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WooHoo!  You'll be running again!  

BF gives awesome massages torture sessions which involve attention to my hips that make me want to smack him. No bone cracking and I haven't hit him.  I just breath and try to relax because in the end I feel so much better. I think he'd get along with your chiropractor.  

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12 minutes ago, ocrunnergirl said:

So I've been going to PT for my hamstring for amonth and half now. The one PT did a 30 minute sports massage on my left calf and hamstring. I broke out in a sweat and there was NO conversation on my part other than "OH DEAR GOD!!!"

Prince may he RIP 😔

One of my sisters who used to be very competitive in triathlons, once told me that if you leave a massage/PT, etc. session and your butt isn't sweating, then they didn't do it right!

Last year I think, someone put out a list of musicians who are getting up there - it's not pretty - Sting, Clapton, Steve Miller, John Cougar Mellencamp, John McCartney, I guess Ringo too for that matter... The only ones who will be left will be Mick Jagger and Keith Richards - even with all the drugs they've done, they prolly outlive us all! 

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5 minutes ago, StinaQ said:

WooHoo!  You'll be running again!  

BF gives awesome massages torture sessions which involve attention to my hips that make me want to smack him. No bone cracking and I haven't hit him.  I just breath and try to relax because in the end I feel so much better. I think he'd get along with your chiropractor.  

Why is it so hard to breathe??!!? I end up sounding like I'm in labor or something and am doing the lamaze breathing thing! 

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Oh yes I know that smile. I did pilates for years at my PT (aha I'm picking up this US lingo;)). Every week when I came in she'd get that wicked grin because she'd found some new & embarrassing torture exercise for her favourite "volunteer". I remember saying to her one week (while hanging upside down from a frame suspended by springs) "is this really an exercise or am I just here to amuse everyone?"

Keith Richards...is anyone certain he hasn't passed?

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So many comments on the bloop and on these comments.

  1. Sadistic chiro - just your style
  2. "John" McCartney - um, Paul
  3. Did you just self-sensor?
  4. Gwen's PT must have women lined up around the block
  5. Pretty sure Keith Richards died in 1973¬¬
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8 hours ago, ChocTop said:

Oh yes I know that smile. I did pilates for years at my PT (aha I'm picking up this US lingo;)). Every week when I came in she'd get that wicked grin because she'd found some new & embarrassing torture exercise for her favourite "volunteer". I remember saying to her one week (while hanging upside down from a frame suspended by springs) "is this really an exercise or am I just here to amuse everyone?"

Keith Richards...is anyone certain he hasn't passed?

I was watching a short documentary on him on NetFlix last night - my GAWD he just looks ancient! Until he smiles and his eyes twinkle. And to me, his laugh - that smokey, whiskey-laced laugh - it's just infectious. To me anyway...  :)

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22 minutes ago, Dave said:

So many comments on the bloop and on these comments.

  1. Sadistic chiro - just your style
  2. "John" McCartney - um, Paul
  3. Did you just self-sensor?
  4. Gwen's PT must have women lined up around the block
  5. Pretty sure Keith Richards died in 1973¬¬

1. yup!!

2. *derp* oops - my bad. you should hear me trying to call the fur-kids by their own names. i've officially become my mother. 

3. it was the end of the day - i was tired. the sun was in my eyes. get off my lawn you damn kids.

4. that kind of sweating isn't really from the 'fun' kind of exertion if ya know what I mean, Vern

5. i'm hoping wine can keep my insides 1/2 as well preserved. my outsides are another thing altogether... *sigh*

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On 10/14/2017 at 5:10 PM, atombuddy said:

He relieves pain and tells you to drink wine?  Does he make house calls to California?

He was actually out in LA a few weeks ago to race and catch the Eagles game. I can't remember the name of the race though...  

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These PT horror stories make me cherish my relative health more and more each day. I know it's only a matter of time until it's my turn, but I'll probably be taking the wine before my visits, not after. And by wine I mean whiskey. 

With Lou Reed and Bowie gone, I wanted to send a search party to find Iggy Pop and make sure he was kept safe in the Mayo Clinic. 

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