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It isn't a straight or narrow path

NCAthlete

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When what you love doing becomes not fun anymore, you should take a step back and assess the situation, right? That is what I’ve decided to do with running, except the step back isn’t to not run at all but to just have fun with running again.

11

Circa 2011 – North Carolina

The thought of taking a step back or easing off scared the shit out of me. It wasn’t long ago that I started running consistently again. It was the end of 2017 and it feels just like yesterday. It was a dark time for me. Probably a lot less dark than the dark times of others, but was one of the darkest for me. I lost myself. I lost myself to the point of not knowing if I’d find me again. That’s some scary shit, folks. Since then, any major bumps that I’ve had have jolted me a bit.

The love of running isn’t a straight or narrow path (Thank You, Jesus! Ok, sometimes it’s a VERY narrow trail ;) ) and I need to remember that when those bumps happen – not get scared by them. At least I have people in my life that can help me get through any really tough business that I may come across this time.

I’m officially running the 13.1 in New Jersey (I made the switch just after publishing my last post), and I’m ready to let the JFRing fully begin! Additionally, I had to take some unexpected time off last week because my grandfather passed away. Because of that and some other factors, I am NOT running the 30K in Moab this weekend. This will also be the second time I signed up for and missed this 30K, so I’m taking that as a sign that I shouldn’t do the race ever. Since I still need a March race, I’m going to sign up for a local 5K for March 30 whose proceeds go towards an autism awareness program.

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It's hard to have a grandparent pass away at this age. The future hubs' last living grandparent passed earlier this week, so I understand that it's just hard. Hope there are lots of great memories that were shared. 

Bummer about Moab - only cuz I was excited for you to experience one of their race (SO well run!). Hope you are enjoying the run again. 

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Only in this group of weirdos could you make it sound as though running a 5K at the end of the month and a 13.1 in April sound like a consolation prize. I know you've run further countless times before, but it's so easy to forget to proud of what you CAN do. Hope the road ahead is sunnier, I'm rooting for ya!

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1 hour ago, Carissa Liebowitz said:

Only in this group of weirdos could you make it sound as though running a 5K at the end of the month and a 13.1 in April sound like a consolation prize. I know you've run further countless times before, but it's so easy to forget to proud of what you CAN do. Hope the road ahead is sunnier, I'm rooting for ya!

"Only in this group of weirdos could you make it sound as though running a 5K at the end of the month and a 13.1 in April sound like a consolation prize." Very good point, haha!! I started doing those Flashback Friday posts and it's allowed me to see how much fun I use to have with running. Lately, I've only been focusing on details, like I'm not running fast or far enough. For a while I've been telling myself to cut back and just have fun, but I haven't been able to. I think I'm finally in that place now. I just want to run when I want, go to run clubs, and do a race each month (whether I run it by myself or not). Depending on how the rest of this year works out (this year has already been pretty hard and I know it's only going to get harder... for certain reasons that I'll eventually talk about), I'm still on the waitlist for Hinson Lake and I do hope to be able to attend and have fun! 

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