Insanity or hopeful determination? I'm not sure where my repeated tries at properly training for a marathon fits, but I'm over it. Time and time again I fail at this, and each time I still try to convince myself that this is what I really want, and you can do it this time.
I'm over stressing week after week that I'm not hitting the numbers. I'm over worrying about whether or not I'm going to get so far behind that I could injure myself if I keep going. I'm over trying to hold this standard over myself week after week. I guess it's just not for me - or at least right now.
So, I'm still running the NJ 26.2, but I'm going to get there by doing what I can with the time I have left. After that, I'm done with marathons and anything beyond. Until I can get my shit together, I'm just going to run, workout, and run shorter races. I still have my goal of one race each month, and I plan to do that.
This isn't a pity party. This is trying to enjoy what I love doing without stressing out about it anymore.
I'll write when I feel like it.