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Sweet Mags Farts on a Hoka and I Don't Really Care Cause It's a Dumb Shoe

RonSwansonsStache

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Sweet Mags: What in the hell are you doing?

Rob: What the hell does it look like I’m doing? I’m blooping.

Sweet Mags:  Good golly!  I haven’t heard you talk about those losers- er I mean Loopsters in like a hot minute.

Rob:  Well, if you recollect last year was a bust.  I ran like 3 miles total last year after screwing up my back. Didn’t even get to go to Rehoboth to spectate in a sparkle skirt cause I was sicker than a dog.  Sad times.

Sweet Mags:  Oh yeah, I remember you whining about that.  Well, I know you’re running again because I can smell your clothes.  Gosh, I’ll remember the good times when your undies didn’t fill the house with the smell of hot garbage.  I mean, I guess you’re in a better mood and less of an asshole now that you’re running again.

Rob: Not just running. Also, sleeping and lifting.

Sweet Mags: Lifting my turds out of the litter box?

Rob: Weights, jerkface.   Since December.  It’s been a real blessing, Sweet Mags. It’s like all I had to do is get a lot of good sleep, lift weights, eat reasonably and the running came back.  Sweet Mags! The running came back.

Sweet Mags:  Get a hold of yourself!!!!!!

Rob:  Never!  It’s called a runner’s high and I’ll do anything for another hit.  Even bench press with the meat heads and go to sleep early.

Sweet Mags:  You’ve gone mad.  Mad! 

Rob:  Anyway, it hasn’t all been good.  There was that incident with the HOKAs.

Sweet Mags: The marshmallow shoes?

Rob: Yep.  The shoes some people call hookahs and not in an ironic way. 

Sweet Mags:  They were almost as fugly as your Altras.

Rob:  Don’t talk about my Altras.  That’s a line you do not cross.

Sweet Mags: So what was the deal with the marshmallow shoes.

Rob:  Well, you know I get a good discount at the running store I work at on the weekends. 

Sweet Mags:  Why can’t you work at a pet store and get me discounts?

Rob:  Cause people who have pets are insane.

Sweet Mags: I mean, you have a valid point.

Rob: Anyway, I bought a pair of Hoka Bondi. You know cause the damn Clifton 5 is still to narrow for my hobbit foot.  One run in and my knee was screaming.  Not only that, but I felt like I was going to trip over my feet with every other stride.  It was a nightmare.  So I took them home and burned them in a sacrifice to the running gods. 

1869788893_HokaDumbShoes.jpeg.150620215b115be5f5441660bf19e3c3.jpeg

Sweet Mags: Did you make s’mores out of them?

Rob: You know I can’t lie to you.  I returned them and exchanged them for Saucony Triumph 5’s.

Sweet Mags:  That’s my boy

Rob: Thankfully, the Saucony got their shit together after the very disappointing 4’s.

Sweet Mags:  The Triumphs are cool, but you know I’m a barefoot runner.  I don’t need to be shod with shoes that are just going to impede my performance.

Rob:  The barefoot movement died.

Sweet Mags:  You died!

Rob: Shut it!

Sweet Mags: I’ve already ran 6 hundos this year.

Rob:  I’ve ran about thirteen miles in January and about that much in February and I couldn’t be happier.  I did my first threasy in over a year tonight!

Sweet Mags:  What do you want, a cookie?

Rob:  A couple of eggs and a Greek yogurt would be bomb.

Sweet Mags: Greek yogurt tastes like ass.

Rob:  You should know.  Ok dude, I gotta finish this bloop.  Go chase your tail.

Sweet Mags:  Tell the Loopsters they suck.  I’m OUT!

 

 

 

 

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17 Comments


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I never liked Sweet Mags before, but this exchange has made me a fan.

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5 hours ago, NCAthlete said:

I wish there was a love reaction button. Or even a turd.

Wishin’ for turds. You’re even weirder than I thought you were. 💩

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4 hours ago, ocrunnergirl said:

Was the threasy in a sparkle skirt because that would've made up for missing Rehoboth?

It was a sparkle skirt in spirit 😉

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13 minutes ago, CompulsiveRunner said:

She would leave you if she ever found out about the sparkle skirt. Your secret is safe with me. 

Phew!!!!! 

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You should wear the sparkle skirt when you bench press with the meat heads. I bet you won't have anyone ask you to work in.

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Why is Sweet Mags so mean? She's not sweet at all. Tell her I think you should rename her Sucky Mags

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On 2/19/2019 at 10:24 PM, Jenster said:

Why is Sweet Mags so mean? She's not sweet at all. Tell her I think you should rename her Sucky Mags

Sweet Mags told me to tell you that yer an oxyMORON and that you’re going on the shitlist. 

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On ‎2‎/‎14‎/‎2019 at 2:48 PM, RonSwansonsStache said:

BRING BACK THE THREASY

… I never stopped using threasy. Now I feel like I was uncool for awhile …. 

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