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mr. pants' spring running quiz ©

garbanzo a gogo



Spring is in the air. Flowers are blooming, goals are looming, Grant is tombing. That can mean only one thing: mr. pants' spring running quiz ©. Let's get started.


  1. You go to the track. The gate is locked. The other gate is locked. The third secret gate that is NEVER locked is locked. Might the track be closed?
  2. You are running on the track, given that if you step over the "bleachers closed" chain and then step over the fence from the bottom row on to the benches inside, it's fairly easy to break in. Coming down the front stretch, a guy is looking in. "Is the track closed?" he asks. What do you say?
  3. You're running on a sidewalk on the greenbelt. You see a sign that says "Pick Up After Dogs." Minutes later, you come across dog poop. What do you do?
  4. You're editing a story. A woman is going to push her boyfriend in a wheelchair over the Boston Marathon course. She didn't get in officially, so she is going to run the course this Monday instead. There's no mention of that "traffic" thing. You resist the urge to add "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" at the bottom of the story, but only because it's late in the shift and typing in all caps makes your head hurt. Do you still go to heaven?
  5. You're having a dream. A church you once attended in the area has suddenly closed its doors. They're not admitting they're shutting down, only that their doors are shut. Your editor from the paper you worked at 10 years ago is looking over your shoulder. You keep writing headlines for the story, but you're writing them on a cake with one of those icing squeezie things, so every time he doesn't like the hed you have to scrape it off, smooth the cake down and start over. Given this dream, what can you expect your average time to be for the 5k summer series?
  6. Aránzazu Isabel María "Arantxa" Sánchez Vicario. (That might not be a question. I just enjoy saying Arantxa Sánchez Vicario.)
  7. You have the opportunity to bail out a co-worker who is going down in flames in Guam. But the story is about the Guam Marathon. Because of some weird dateline thing, the marathon was held on Sunday and you're editing it on Saturday. So in effect it's an advance story on an event that already happened. Rather than trying to figure this out late at night, you go home. How long to avoid your co-worker?
  8. You get selected to be Jesus in your Passion Play. This consists of running while carrying a cross. You run every day while carrying a cross in preparation for the event. Does this have to be classified as cross training? 
  9. You get on the airplane. You read the original New York Times review from 1968 in which the critic says "Sgt. Pepper" isn't a very good album. You laugh at how embarrassed he must be now. You proceed to listen to "Sgt. Pepper" on the flight. And he's right; it isn't a very good album. Do you switch to Fiona Apple's "Frosty the Snowman" because it's a turbulent flight and if you have to crash that would be a more appropriate soundtrack?
  10. On letsrun, a guy says he ran a BQ but was not able to run it this year because of injury. He wants to know if it's OK to get the jacket anyhow. I wonder how anybody could possibly entertain this notion. I do this while wearing the Bandera 100K shirt from the race I signed up for but then got pneumonia and drove down to see the Loop peeps anyhow and picked up shirt while I was there because it cost $160 and now I wear it a lot because it's purple and matches my eyes. If I run Bandera on a different day in a different place at a different distance, does that still count?
  11. Is it OK to call Mr. Pants Daddy-O?


  1. I've never understood why it's called the "track." Where did that come from? "Track." Why not the "loop" (hey that could be a catchy name) or the "oval" or the "Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment." Given such an arbitrary name, I can hardly be held responsible for the consequences.
  2. Headphones are your friend.
  3. I tend to see dogs IN pickups, so I would think the proper sign would be "Dogs in pickups" rather than "pickup after dogs." Not knowing for sure, I tend to avoid the matter altogether.
  4. Can you even run the course on a day when the roads aren't closed? I will file this under the category "uh oh i just got to the bottom of my coffee cup and there's some sort of weird flavor down here I probably shouldn't have randomly taken a mug out of the sink."
  5. This actually happened last night. It's the only cake decorating/headline writing dream I've ever had. I consider it a sign. That sign being "Pick Up After Dogs."
  6. Aránzazu Isabel María "Arantxa" Sánchez Vicario. (That might not be an answer. I just enjoy saying Arantxa Sánchez Vicario.)
  7. Also, the story had a lot of people whining about how it was raining over the entire marathon. Jeez, people. It rained once here in Arizona and it wasn't that bad, although I never actually went outside because it might mess up my Bandera 100K shirt. Guamers (Guamees? Guamians?) are sissies.
  8. It is a fashion foe paw to listen to "Superstar" between Easter and Labor Day. It also is a foe paw not to pick up after an opponent's dog.
  9. The 50th anniversary "Sgt. Pepper" also has alternative takes that aren't very good, thus explaining why they were alternative takes. This is probably why the Beatles gave up and disbanded. Crappy band. Although I sort of liked Wings.
  10. No.
  • Like 9
  • Thanks 1


Recommended Comments

23 minutes ago, CompulsiveRunner said:

I answered every question correctly so I think I win my age group.

congratulations! you have won an all-expenses-paid * weekend in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona!!!! Don't forget the snowshoes.

* cost does not include airfare, lodging, food or race entry. Basically I inherited a lemon Luna bar you can have if Mo doesn't eat it before then. And Mo loves the lemon Luna bars.

  • Like 2
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1 hour ago, DrWhiskers said:

Reading this was a better use of my time than reading anything on Letsrun 

meh. i can't compete with the thread on who would win if a pit bull was attacking you at full speed and you were armed with a baseball bat. (i would be a goner)

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Head. Hurts. So. Much.

Maybe I put more thought into my answers than I was supposed to?

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funny. one of my three readers on margarine (i started margarine nine years ago this week with just three readers, and 32,000 blog posts later have worked my way up to three readers) pointed out that i totally forgot to answer question no. 10. Because the late Dave Schultz set up this joint in a way that i can't kill posts, and thus can't edit them, the answer to no. 10 is below.

10. I once ran a half marathon but signed up after the "must sign up 18 months before race to get a shirt" deadline, so mo made me a shirt. The shirt she made was much nicer than the actual race shirt. This made me realize the universal truth: "You can teach a chimp to smoke cigarettes, but there will always be people in the world who don't like queso." Once you know that, everything else is just gravy. Or queso. Damn. Now I want queso

Edited by garbanzo a gogo
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3 hours ago, Dave said:

Head. Hurts. So. Much.

Maybe I put more thought into my answers than I was supposed to?

Remember, there are no wrong answers. But there are many wrong questions.

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1 hour ago, NavEng said:

I forgot my pencil.

The proper answer was Olvidé mi lápiz. And you were soooooo close ....

Edited by garbanzo a gogo
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56 minutes ago, Eamus Catuli said:

You lost me at "spring is in the air" since I woke up to snow this morning.

i totally know that feeling. We have no spring here either. it's going to be NINETY FREAKING FIVE DEGREES HERE TODAY and it's not even mid-april yet. compulsive runner re-thinking her prize as we speak. although we're not really speaking.

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10 minutes ago, Gonzo Runner said:

I pulled a muscle climbing the fence, so I think I failed. It's like organic chemistry all over again. 

you have to be careful. A lot of chemistry is labeled "organic," but it could contain pesticides all the same. The only way to know for sure is to lick your chemistry professor and then see if you get kicked in the groin.

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Sorry I'm late, but here's my answers...

1) The track is probably just out to lunch and will return at 1:00

2) "No, it's out to lunch."

3) Wait for the pick up to pass before continuing.

4) You can if you instead add, "WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

5) Slower than normal after eating the cake with the so many layers of icing.

6) Is that over the counter or do I need a prescription?

7) 60 Minutes

8) You'll be crucified for that bad joke.

9) Probably best to ask someone to pass the salt and play "I'm Getting Drunk on a Plane."

10) Only if you carry a cross.

11) It depends.

Edited by mattw
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sadly, the contest follows the traditional rules of the Loop Jeopardy! Protocol, requiring all answers after the first 24 hours to be phrased in the form of a question. Only two of your 11 responses quality. Please post recording of yourself singing "Muskrat Candlelight" at your earliest convenience.

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3 hours ago, garbanzo a gogo said:

sadly, the contest follows the traditional rules of the Loop Jeopardy! Protocol, requiring all answers after the first 24 hours to be phrased in the form of a question. Only two of your 11 responses quality. Please post recording of yourself singing "Muskrat Candlelight" at your earliest convenience.

Happens to be one of my favorites.

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