Folks, it's that time of year and that means Janu-Arie has begun and there are 29 ladies and 1 bachelor that ABC is desperately trying to convince you is both very eligible and dating on national television for the right reasons.
So, basically he's there because his racing career never took off like his dad's did and being a realtor in Arizona isn't getting as many ladies sliding into his DM's these days.
There's a big difference in this year's What I Learned from The Bachelor series, because I'm no longer a single lady trying to navigate the world of dating! I've been happily swept off my feet (and he his), but eight months into this relationship, I'm sure there's still lots to learn, so this year I'm taking tips on how to keep my man happy. Let's dive in, shall we?
1. Be totally cool with him dating 28 other women.
2. Shower him with gifts, like elephant cuff links, a little wiener, a bumper sticker that says "nice butt", a gratitude rock and Mardis Gras beads.
3. Hair down, boobs out.
4. Show up on our first date in a classic convertible or a formula 1 race car. (SHIT! too late for this one)
5. Just assume everything with him is gonna be good.
6. Declare a peck on the lips THE BEST KISS EVER!!!!!!!
7. Feed him.
8. Give him a pedicure. It will make him think you are wild.
Fashion takeaway: Cutout dresses will get me roses