I at first supposed that my mind was simply on other things, but if I'm being honest, I think it's because my personal motivation just isn't here right now. I never raced much, but for the last ten years I've at least had a marathon or two out there that I was working on. Truth is, as the audience here has dwindled and the interaction with it, I miss the buss of having people comment and ask questions and voice opinions on what I've written. Having someone tell me it's OK when I struggle through a bad run helped me get out on the road again the next day. Multiply that by what used to be several - sometimes dozens - back in the Loop's heyday, and I was constantly lifted up. It's harder when you feel alone.
Still out there, though, regardless. It's what I do. What I am. Not going to lie, though - I miss the kudos.
I'm at the stage of my post-covid comeback where it feels like things aren't happening the way I want. Just impatience, I'm sure, like it usually is. Tinkbot posted during the week that she ran the same number of miles that she got sleep the night before. She's got two littles now and sleep is a precious and rare commodity for a young mother. The 4.5 miles pushing the stroller were no doubt tougher for her than the 7.5 I struggled with yesterday in my effort to matched her sleep/miles adventure.
I've done a couple of Saturdays in a row at 6 miles and was thinking 7 or 8 this week anyway, which is about what I sleep every night, so it wasn't going to be any extra effort, really. I have developed the nasty habit of needing to take a dump sometime during what seems like every single one of my morning runs. So I woke up, took my time eating breakfast, visiting the bathroom a few times (with mostly disappointing results), and finally left when it felt like nothing was going to happen again.
First miles lately have been extra slow. Part of it's normal for mile 1 to warm up, part of it's the morning which my right knee doesn't seem to like anymore for about a quarter mile. But after that things loosen up and it's just a matter of getting where I plan to go that day. Even though Michigan is mostly opened up, traffic remains lighter than in the past, and even if I miss a light I can often go through on the red, since there aren't any cars, especially at 7 am on a Saturday morning. When I was young and fast I'd think nothing of darting in and out of traffic whenever. Now I'm a much more sane, relaxed, conscientious and law-abiding runner. And slower, don't forget slower.
There was a woman I passed in mile 1 that I passed in the other direction coming back in mile 6. That doesn't happen every day. No telling how far she went in the one direction before coming south to the street I was returning on. Waved both times, which was nice.
Of course I had a Code Abby about half way. Lucky for me, there was a park, not much used now because, you know. And there was a honey bucket shack put there by the city every summer. Suppose it's cheaper than building and maintaining an actual bathroom. Despite the fact that it's not guaranteed to be sanitized, I used it. I know the science isn't complete about how much immunity I might have at this point, I feel pretty good about my chances since I had no plans to be licking my butt afterwards, and there was little contact with my hands that would have been able to travel to my mouth/nose. The danger from e-coli is likely much greater from a POP than covid. Anyway, so much for the extra time I spent at home before running.
Ran out of gas somewhere in mile 5 and struggled the rest of the way in. It was warm and humid like it's been all summer, but I had hoped to be able to push just one more measly mile than I did the previous two Saturdays. So kind of disappointed.
Both the girls were working yesterday, so I spent my time cleaning windows and toilets, and watching some movies on Amazon, since the Tigers-Reds game was rained out.
Today we're going to church for the first time in 4 months. Only 25 people will be there, as the congregation rotates through the alphabet with groups of 25 attending one of four services held every week. At that rate, we'll be there once a month. The other times, they have a Zoom broadcast of one of them that we can call in for. Hardly the same, but better than nothing, although we try to have a weekly family devotional scheduled around work schedules.
Crazy all the things we used to take for granted as normal until a few months ago. Reminds me that we're not really in charge of things on this tiny little planet like we often think we are. Man has done some amazing things, but we're actually a pretty fragile species. Life is fragile.
So many things we think are so very important aren't so much, really. Seems to me we'd be better off if we remembered that.